i think my mom watched the whole time
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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