I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i think i have two assholes
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
