if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
