So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
