All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
