I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
