New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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