He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
