I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize