We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
