Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
