My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
