Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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