She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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