fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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