On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
