I wanna passion pit in your ass
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
