hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
