just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
