I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
