were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
