is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have tasted many bathrooms
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
