you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
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omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
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Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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