her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
