So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
