Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
