"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
