Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
