dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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