We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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