Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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