My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
COCAINE IS GR8
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
