im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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