I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
