And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize