I can tuck mytits in my pants
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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