his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
