I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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