I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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