He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
