you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
