What a fucking waste of an outfit
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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