so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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