So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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