I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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