Yo dont text me then not text me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
