called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
