Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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