Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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