no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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