i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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