Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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