I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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