i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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