We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Everything about him screamed your future.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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