someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How does it feel to date your dad?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
