my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
