ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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